The Door By A Kirana

The Door by A. Kirana

‘Come,’ a silken voice intones, awakening me from my slumber.

Without thought nor protest, I rise to follow.

My perception dims, as I walk blindly down the path I’m shown.

Candles flicker in my wake, briefly illuminating my way.

Shadows dance before me as laughter hurries me forth.

Racing down the darkened hallway, I’m startled to find a doorway barring my way.

Tentatively, I reach out, as it looms before me, beckoning me.

Cold to the touch, I recoil as if burned.

Turning to run, insistent voices urge me forward.

Rooted in place, a feeling of apprehension encompasses me.

A gentle breeze caresses my skin, attempting to sooth me.

With my fears assuaged, I glance around bewildered.

Facing the door anew, I ask in a quiet voice, “What am I to do?”

From the shadows, a voice replies, “Enter, child.”

In a moment, the door stood ajar, inviting me in.

Taking hesitant steps closer, I peer inside, only to retreat.

Mournful cries of pain and anguish reach out to me from within.

Fear clutches at my heart, as the cries bring me to my knees.

“It is time,” a voice urges me, as shadowy wraiths encircle me.

“No,” I sob, crawling through the shadows, futilely attempting an escape.

Unseen hands reach for me, gently leading me toward the door.

Struggling in vain seems only to tighten their hold on me.

Ceasing the fight, I resign myself to my fate, allowing myself to be led.

Standing in the doorway, I reel in horror as I watch familiar scenes unfold.

Straining against invisible bonds, as I choke back my terror, I cry, “Why?”

In a sorrowful tone, a voice replies, “You must face this, child.”

Sobbing, as my strength ebbs away, I feel a gentle tug upon my wrist.

Looking down, I find myself staring into the eyes of a child.

Seeing the depth of sadness within those eyes made my heart ache.

Angered, I cry out, “A child’s eyes should be filled with wonder not pain.”

Silence mocking me, as I continue, “What has been done to this child?”

A long moment passes, before a voice queries, “Do you not know?”

Turning to face the child, with my anger now sobered, I gasp as I finally see.

Falling to my knees to take the child into my arms, I attempt to ease her pain.

Weeping as I hold the child, I gasp for air while memories flood my mind.

A myriad of forgotten pain and emotions cascade into my being, filling an emptiness.

A strangled cry escapes my lips as I try to brace myself for the onslaught.

Tightening my embrace around the child, I am startled to find my arms empty.

My eyes quickly search the mist-shrouded figures, to no avail, the child had vanished.

Staggered by the whole experience, I collapse from weariness.

The door closed loudly behind me, jarring me back into consciousness.

Shivering, I listen to the anguished wails around me, not wanting to witness the cause.

A piercing cry for help cuts through the din, sending chills racing through me.

Frozen in remembrance, my tears fall silently, achingly.

“There is more to see, child,” a voice, filled with pity, softly said.

“No more,” I rasp, unable to endure.

“You must,” the voices cry in unison, as images began to change and swirl around me.

“I can’t,” I cry, shrinking back from the flickering scenes that enveloped me in their midst.

Reaching through the span of time, shattered reflections stare lifelessly back at me from yesterday.

Sobbing, I recall the oppressive pain brought by silence and the overwhelming fear of truth.

Nightmarish specters howl their fury as they immerse me in their vicious games.

Screaming in terror, I watch childhood end with one swift blow.

Shuddering with remembered pain, shadowy tendrils of forgotten fears find their mark.

Embracing myself for comfort, I ache as I witness the walls being built.

Enshrouded within the shredded remnants of life’s tapestry, I mourn all I have lost.

Suddenly, mirthless laughter fills the room, as icy fingers of trepidation hold me in a viselike grip.

Paralyzed, I find myself staring into the cold blue eyes of one whose intent shone cruelly.

Unable to flee, I cower before his lecherous grin.

Helpless, I shriek wildly as innocent blood is spilled, staining all I see a livid red.

Shocked by the brutality, overcome by guilt, I watch as I was shamed into silence.

Embittered by the memory, as I listen to my cries, I long for retribution.

“No more!” I plead as the shadows converge, blurring the scene.

Plunged suddenly into darkness, I cringe, listening to the continuing songs of lament.

As the cries reach an agonizing pitch, I steel myself, afraid of what was to come.

Light flares, momentarily blinding me, as memories began to reform.

Wrapped within my defenses, I coolly face the thinning shadows.

In a voice tight with anguish, I whisper, “Not this,” as my defenses shattered.

Aching, I reach for the memory, futilely screaming my protests, to no avail.

“Forgive me,’ I whisper hoarsely, as I witness life being bled from me.

Like a blow to my heart, guilt staggered me, crippling me.

Unable to bear witness, I crawl blindly through the carnage of what was.

My tears fall endlessly, as I desperately search for an escape.

Relief washes over me, as I stumble into the door.

Rising upon unsteady legs, I make my final plea, “Please, no more.”

“But you must face this child,” a voice replies sympathetically.

With my head in my hands, I cry, “I cannot.  I am not ready.”

The howls around me grew frantic, pleading to be heard.

“You may never be ready, but you must face this one day.”

The door finally opens, releasing me from my prison.

Sobbing, I close the door behind me, knowing one day I must return.

How MOMA could really be modern – Part 1-GRAFFITI

THIS IS PART 1 OF A 3 PART STORY OF THE ART SOCIETY

PART 1 GRAFFITI (the urban palate)

The Moma located on 53st between 6th and 5th avenue in Manhattan New York has been the home of “modern” art and pop art icons for the last 79 years.They opened their doors on November 7, 1929 and have since been the place for artist of the “underground” movement. artist like Van Gogh, Gauguin, Cezanne, and Seurat. Campbell Soup Cans by Andy Warhol nicely round out the hallowed halls.

but one persons art is another mans anger. cause many a great artist of the true modern age have been omitted from the halls of this so-called great museum. the true urban artist. Graffiti is one of the last modern art forms it draws acclaim and criticism alike it is respect over seas and spit upon domestically. graffiti defines generations and it defines neighborhoods alike.

Its place as art is shown in the form of old school block Letters and solid color fillings. it draws from music and comic books. each artist risk life and freedom to do it, making it the only art form that could take your life. So why does the MoMa not have expos on Graffiti?

simple…..(this next section is complete rant reader beware)

these so called experts in the field of art can not see past their own blurred vision of the world, art done in the abstract is considered high end and art created in protest and outspokenness has no place in the halls of the mighty MOMA. The walls adorn with paintings of cans of soup and canvases with a cut in the center hold more meaning to an empty vessel that is the upper elite then real art …art done for the sake of art.

Walking down the hallways of the MOMA you can see all of the waste of money the Art Elite has given out. all these artist claim stake in the fact that their art has meaning, go ask REVS and Cost,Riot 208 or JA or any of the others what their art meant and they would tell you.

It means LIFE and DEATH it means FAMILY and Friends, gangs and brotherhood. it means being on the outside looking in. the art of the street is art for the so called lower class the middle class and the people who live pay check to paycheck. the lines in a piece define a person, the more bubble the letter, the bigger the outline, the crazier the art, the more colors it all means something …none of which is a free ride to fame. that road is bumpy and long and sometimes it means the end!

Modern Art is Graffiti. it defines a neighborhood a town a city an understanding while the rest of the world and more mainstream media except it the more MOMA and the Blue blood fakes push it away.

when the day MOMA allows the walls to be deck out in krylon and Montana spray paint. that will be the day when Grafitti as an art form dies. the world has reconized the art form and we do not need the critics to tell us what is allowed we live in an era when we make our own choices and we choice to enjoy true modern art whereever it is

lost nights in her eyes

GOD, how we miss the sounds of a Friday night! Standing under the street lamps as if a million drops of dark light sparkle around us. En-casing Us in a heavenly glow that was you! Watching you smoke your cigarette and drink your wine, the vapors of smoke filter your face like an old time movie we begged you to watch with us. your lips press up to the bottle and sip, leaving only a mere drop of wine like a red gradient rainbow from the lip to the bottle neck. We obsess over your smile like gold miners hording the small fragment of gold they have discovered. The Friday night clouds form images of you that our eyes can only see, her brown hair blows back with strips of blond thrown in. the sound of summer and the noise of winter confuse our memory. When was it that we lost you?  Was it near or far, did we even talk about the idea of not being with you ever again?  Questions of which we do not have answers for, nor do we even want. on a Friday like tonight I ponder and wonder what could and should have been. yet we are here and you are not, we lost you to the annals of time and memory.

My crucifixion

My crucifixion

Devil in me wants you to stay

The angel in me wants you to stay as well

But knows it has to let you go

The lover in me needs you close

The hater in me wants you to go away

But hates itself for thinking so

The father in me needs you to learn

The failure in me wants you to run away

But tells itself to lie for you

My crucifixion

My imperfection

My sadness

My welfare

Devil in me tells the angel to fly off

The lover tells the hater to fuck off

The father keeps nurturing

As the failure keeps failing

My crucifixion

My imperfection

My sadness

My welfare

Devil man and angel walk hand in hand

The lover figure and hater attack each other constantly

As the father keeps telling the failure to be good

And they all know they have no control over you

My crucifixion

My imperfection

My sadness

My welfare

Robert greenwood 11/13/03

Poem/song/therapy

Goodbye my lover of time

goodbye my lover of time

don’t blame my shame on love
don’t take away my good night kiss
don’t steal away my love

say goodbye
to my goodnight kiss
say hello
to my sadness

my impending emptiness

this is my last request for you
please don’t change who you are to me
don’t dye your hair  a shade of grey
don’t perm nor press
and don’t color your nails this is my request
just stay the same way as you were before the night
I screwed it all up for us
I’m just a fool inside who can’t change your mind

no gift can mend your shattered heart
and no words could save this broken soul of yours

don’t blame my shame on love
don’t take away my good night kiss
don’t steal away my love

say goodbye
to my goodnight kiss
say hello
to my sadness

my impending emptyness

goodbye my love
is all you say to me now as you turn away and walk
so very fast out the side door
the clouds begin to pour
rain drops on the floor

goodbye my love goodbye

don’t blame my shame on love
don’t take away my good night kiss
don’t steal away my love

say good bye
to my goodnight kiss
say hello
to my sadness

my impending emptyness

goodbye  goodbye goodbye goodbye

robert greenwood songs/poem 2/15/04