lost nights in her eyes

GOD, how we miss the sounds of a Friday night! Standing under the street lamps as if a million drops of dark light sparkle around us. En-casing Us in a heavenly glow that was you! Watching you smoke your cigarette and drink your wine, the vapors of smoke filter your face like an old time movie we begged you to watch with us. your lips press up to the bottle and sip, leaving only a mere drop of wine like a red gradient rainbow from the lip to the bottle neck. We obsess over your smile like gold miners hording the small fragment of gold they have discovered. The Friday night clouds form images of you that our eyes can only see, her brown hair blows back with strips of blond thrown in. the sound of summer and the noise of winter confuse our memory. When was it that we lost you?  Was it near or far, did we even talk about the idea of not being with you ever again?  Questions of which we do not have answers for, nor do we even want. on a Friday like tonight I ponder and wonder what could and should have been. yet we are here and you are not, we lost you to the annals of time and memory.

My crucifixion

My crucifixion

Devil in me wants you to stay

The angel in me wants you to stay as well

But knows it has to let you go

The lover in me needs you close

The hater in me wants you to go away

But hates itself for thinking so

The father in me needs you to learn

The failure in me wants you to run away

But tells itself to lie for you

My crucifixion

My imperfection

My sadness

My welfare

Devil in me tells the angel to fly off

The lover tells the hater to fuck off

The father keeps nurturing

As the failure keeps failing

My crucifixion

My imperfection

My sadness

My welfare

Devil man and angel walk hand in hand

The lover figure and hater attack each other constantly

As the father keeps telling the failure to be good

And they all know they have no control over you

My crucifixion

My imperfection

My sadness

My welfare

Robert greenwood 11/13/03

Poem/song/therapy

Goodbye my lover of time

goodbye my lover of time

don’t blame my shame on love
don’t take away my good night kiss
don’t steal away my love

say goodbye
to my goodnight kiss
say hello
to my sadness

my impending emptiness

this is my last request for you
please don’t change who you are to me
don’t dye your hair  a shade of grey
don’t perm nor press
and don’t color your nails this is my request
just stay the same way as you were before the night
I screwed it all up for us
I’m just a fool inside who can’t change your mind

no gift can mend your shattered heart
and no words could save this broken soul of yours

don’t blame my shame on love
don’t take away my good night kiss
don’t steal away my love

say goodbye
to my goodnight kiss
say hello
to my sadness

my impending emptyness

goodbye my love
is all you say to me now as you turn away and walk
so very fast out the side door
the clouds begin to pour
rain drops on the floor

goodbye my love goodbye

don’t blame my shame on love
don’t take away my good night kiss
don’t steal away my love

say good bye
to my goodnight kiss
say hello
to my sadness

my impending emptyness

goodbye  goodbye goodbye goodbye

robert greenwood songs/poem 2/15/04