31 days of halloween: the last house on the left(1972 version) review

Julian Cannon is back again for another post, this time it is a movie i checked on netflix on saturday. And it is called The last house on the left (1972 version). I have heard of this movie and my parents always told me to never look at this movie when i was 10 years old and i have just found out why

In the history of the horror genre, Wes Craven’s low-budget rape-revenge movie The Last House On The Left has long been notorious as one of the nastiest of the Video Nasties, a film so depraved and immoral that it remained at the top of the British Board of Film Classification’s banned list for 30 years.

Loosely styled on Ingmar Bergman’s The Virgin Spring – but with guns and chainsaws replacing Swedish angst – The Last House On The Left was originally conceived as an audience-grabbing mix of sex and violence entitled ‘Sex Crime Of The Century’. Somewhere along the way, though, the filmmakers set off down a different path and instead of the salacious exploitation picture that was planned, The Last House On The Left turned into a blistering indictment of American social mores, middle-class righteousness and the atrocities of the Vietnam War.
The story is deceptively simple: teenagers Mari (Cassel) and Phyllis (Grantham) are abducted by a gang of vicious criminal led by the psychopathic Krug (Hess). They are tortured, raped, mutilated and eventually killed in the pastoral woodlands near their hometown. This ordeal forms the basis of the movie’s chief horror. But then comes the twist: the killers stop off at Mari’s parents’ house after their car breaks down. Realising what’s happened, the complacent middle-class parents (St James and Carr) are transformed and take their bloody and brutal revenge.

It’s difficult to know what is more shocking: the harrowing rape scenes and mutilations, or Craven’s wild deviations in tone that frequently see the movie veer from sexploitation to social commentary, slapstick comedy, nihilistic despair and gallows humour in the space of just a few scenes. The result is a film that confronts its audience viscerally, emotionally and intellectually with a raw power rarely seen before or since.

“Can a movie go too far?” asked the original posters of this landmark horror classic in 1972. Finally re-released in 2008 in an uncut version, it’s a question which remains entirely valid in the twenty-first century.

Verdict:

This movie is twisted and demented and is one of those movies that you wonder what kind of sick mind came up with such a plot…and I LOVE horror movies but not ones like this. Being from the 70s makes it bad enough but the twisted side of it just puts it over the top for me.Also do not watch this movie with any children under ANY circumstances, For me watching this movie,  if i was a parent in 1972, these would be things you will learn after watching this:

*do not let your daughter go out late at night

*do not talk to strangers

*the cops were very lazy that time

*when your kids are missing,do not wait an hour to call for help

*do not let a group of strangers into your home PERIOD!!

Above from all of that, i loved the movie but its way too much for anybody to handle. I can warn you, the movie will literally disturb you to the point that you would want to turn off the movie. But its still a classic in my eyes so i will give it a 8.5/10

 

31 days of Halloween: top 10 best wrestling gimmicks of all time

I am back with another post, this time, the sequel to the top 10 worst gimmicks of all time, This time it will be the top 10 best wrestling gimmicks of all time

10. The Boogeyman

Like many gimmicks on this list, the Boogeyman gimmick remains a cult favorite with a lot of fans. Marty Wright got booted from Tough Enough for lying about his age, but got what he wanted out of the deal anyway. WWE saw potential in him, and he ended up with the Boogeyman gimmick. Wright embraced the gimmick wholeheartedly. You really couldn’t have asked for more. His recitation of nursery rhymes, combined with his mannerisms made what should have been a ridiculous gimmick something not only believable, but occasionally creepy. The crawling, the fantastic makeup, and the mouthful of worms combined to make WWE’s version definitely creepier than the Boogeyman from The Ghostbusters cartoon. Wright lasted nearly four years off and on with WWE with this gimmick, and scored several high profile wins over talent such as JBL and Booker T. Boogeyman remains proof that any gimmick can be successful if talent is willing to sell out for it to make it work.

9.Gangrel

The Vampire Warrior gimmick began in Memphis in the USWA, which has been home to several outlandish gimmicks. He parlayed that into a job with the World Wrestling Federation, thanks to Bruce Pritchard and Vince Russo, who felt that a vampire gimmick had legs. The character was fleshed out a bit by giving it a gothic twist, similar to what fans had seen in the screen adaptation of Interview With A Vampire. However, the true influence for the character came from the game Vampire: The Masquerade. Much like The Boogeyman, the behind the gimmick (David Heath) embraced it wholeheartedly and made it work. He would be given a couple of lackeys – Edge and Christian – in a stable called The Brood. It could be argued that a big part of the success Heath enjoyed is due to the Brood’s intro, because this was the greatest entrance ever. Gangrel could deliver in the ring, though. Everything about this gimmick worked, from blood baths to the spitting of the blood to his participating in the Ministry with The Undertaker.

8.Latin American Exchange

These three men took the world of pro-wrestling by storm, in many ways. They were a very unique team with Konnan on board, as the revolution began in TNA. The team of Homicide and Hernandez would capture many championships, Have their own Commentator table, and along with many bloody battles along the way, with names such as The New Age Outlaws, The Dudleys, Beer Money, and AJ Styles and Daniels. It’s been prove true over the past few years, there is nothing like the original as The Latin American Xchange can never be duplicated.Clearly they were the best group in TNA until the Main Event Mafia in 2008.

7.Sting

ting is arguably the most popular wrestler of all-time. He was named “Most Popular Wrestler of the Year” four times by PWI, which is more than any other wrestler.

He became known as WCW’s “Franchise” and was its most important star from the late ’80s until the company folded in 2001.

Sting is currently the only wrestler to ever win the NWA, WCW and TNA world titles and is considered by many to be the best wrestler to never step foot in a WWE ring.

Sting was WCW’s brightest star in the ’90s along with his trademark blonde flattop and various face paints.

Sting feuded with many of the company’s biggest stars including Sid Vicious, Lex Luger, The Great Muta, Cactus Jack, Vader, Nikita Koloff, Rick Rude and most famously Ric Flair.

Flair and Sting feuded for years and it was Sting who would defeat Flair in the last WCW match ever.The most dramatic moment of Sting’s career happened in 1996. Sting traded in his bright blonde hair and carefree persona and transformed into a gloomy and dark Sting.The new Sting wore all black, covered his face in white paint and would often descend from the rafters during shows. Sting would not speak on WCW programming for over a year.It was during this time period that WCW held a distinct edge over the WWE in the Monday night ratings “war.”Some of WCW’s success had to be attributed to the presence of Sting. Many fans tuned into the WCW programming to find out if and when Sting would make his next appearance.In December of 1997, Sting captured the WCW title from Hulk Hogan in the main event of Starrcade.Sting continued with WCW until the company was bought out in 2001.Sting joined the TNA wrestling company in 2006 where he still competes under the same name.

The man they call Sting is one of the greatest professional wrestling stars ever.

6.Raven

Raven – yes raven this guy was deeply disturbed he wore all black and looked like he would kill you and in his mind he probably was.From Scotty Flamingo in WCW , to Johnny polo in WWF, Raven Would soon land in ECW on January 1995 . Raven IMO is singlely the most underrated, underutilized character ever! Raven was this character that could go in many different directions . He was an ECW hardcore legend he put on some of the most extreme matches in ecw history with Tommy dreamer,The Sandman and Justin credible . Look at the promo work he did to he was able to be well worded with his work to he was able to run with emotions that IMO I believe other wrestlers look back and look to feed on. The funny thing is this guy could work the heel so well his character was made for it but he was able to get the fans behind him. In WWE,TNA,WCW and ECW, this guy had a gift maybe because deep in our minds we understand him. He won quite a few titles but when he got into wwe it seemed like they were to scared to push him I would loved to see him and Kane or undertaker feud I really would

5.Goldust

Yes Goldust I agree with a comment Mean Gene or Mick Foley said Without Goldust you might have never seen an attitude era, But then again it was ECW involvement and Brian Pillman’s “Pillman got a gun” segment.But anyways, I mean he was the man that started it pushing the envelope you never saw anything like it I mean you didn’t know what he was gonna say or do next. He not only should be on there because of that but because he deiced to take himself out of bein dusty son. He was also very good in the ring and I always just wondered that if it wasn’t for back stage politics how far he could of gone. Goldust was able to draw heat and gain fans especially during his rivalry with Lawler and his team up with Booker t.Scott Hall even said in an interview one time that he did not want to work with that guy because of the gimmick. Goldust will never get the credit he deserves – Cody Rhodes. I agree with that he never will I honestly think he should be IMO in the Hall of fame.But we will never know

4.Kane

Kane has evolved through the years, becoming at times a comedic character. He’s been masked and unmasked, heel and face. Way back when, though, the character was inspired by one of the great horror icons. Glen Jacobs himself has said that his portrayal of Kane was heavily influenced by none other than Michael Myers, the antagonist of Halloween. Despite the obvious differences in color patterns, the similarities are there – a slighted brother hellbent on destruction, the mask, remaining silent for years. In his early days, and occasionally in the years since, Kane was an indestructible force that was constantly moving forward. As time has gone by, there have been layers added to the character. At its roots, though, the Kane figure remains a dominant monster in WWE. For me, the night he took of that mask in 2003 is the greatest moment in the history for the big red machine

3.Mankind

The original idea for this character was “Mason the Mutilator”, a name dreamed up by Vince McMahon. Foley himself suggested the change, and the rest is history. Long before Mankind was a lovable underdog, he was a monster. Mankind was originally a masochistic sort that lived in boiler rooms, tucked away from society. Once he was brought into society, he was a force of destruction. Seemingly incapable of controlling himself, Mankind was prone to acts of violence and screeching fits of masochism in the middle of the ring. Mick Foley has always been able to deliver on the microphone, and his eloquent monologues and understanding of the value of vocal inflections allowed Mankind to become a very unsettling character on WWF television in the mid-90’s. Even now, watching the interview segment that results in Jim Ross having the Mandible Claw applied to him by Mankind gives me an uneasy feeling. Mankind is one of the truly great characters in wrestling history.

2.John Cena (rapper)

I’m still in shock over this.

When he debuted in the WWE, John Cena was one of the bland, faceless blue chippers. The only thing that made him stand out were his pastel tights. And then, one day, Stephanie McMahon caught him free-style rapping. Thus, Cena ditched the colorful shorts and put on some jean shorts as he adopted a white rapper gimmick. “Well, that’s it for Cena,” I thought.

And a weird thing happened. Fans started to root for him. This totally blew my mind. A rap gimmick hardly works for black wrestlers. Does anyone remember the No Limit Soldiers? Me neither. It’s even worse for white wrestlers. I mean, when I think of white rappers, I think of pop culture jokes like Vanilla Ice and Snow… and of a barely remembered tag team known as PG-13. How is this black hole of a gimmick actually getting John Cena over?

Then Cena took it to the next level. He started wearing throwback jerseys and pump shoes. He blinged out the US Title. OK, I thought, maybe fans are OK with white rappers since the Eminem thing. But Eminem’s not the kind of guy you associate with the “bling.” And Cena was also starting to do stupid puns revolving around the words “deez nutz.” Fans are going to turn on him soon, aren’t they?

In less than a year, Cena would ride the “white rapper” gimmick all the way to the WWE Heavyweight Title.

Oh, sure, eventually some fans would get tired of the gimmick and start booing Cena. And Cena would gradually drop the more overt aspects of his persona (like the rap offs) to become a superstar reminscent of Hulk Hogan. But that doesn’t change the fact that Cena parlayed a “white rapper” gimmick into one of the longest title reigns in WWF/WWE history.

1. The Undertaker

When the Undertaker debuted, it was assumed that it would be just another cartoonish gimmick that faded away relatively quickly. Instead, the character gained a cult following even as a vicious heel, and survived longer than most gimmicks – cartoonish or not – do in professional wrestling. The Undertaker has become an iconic character, the “franchise” of WWE, and an attraction unto himself. The original look for the Undertaker was based on the morticians of the old west, and the close relationship with death was enough to make people uneasy. His affinity for locking people in caskets and undead appearance furthered the effectiveness of the gimmick. As the years went on, The Undertaker became a cult leader, a biker, returned to his undead persona before becoming something of an undefined supernatural force. No matter how often this topic is revisited, or how far into the future it goes, it’s going to be virtually impossible to knock The Undertaker off this perch.

 

Wrestling News :10/22-10/26/ short review of the CM Punk dvd

MR. Cannon is back for another post, this time it will be a news weekly in the wrestling world in case if nobody knows whats going on behind the scenes

1. WWE Raw Rating Plummets…Again

I tried to warn you all. I tried. I really did. From June to September, the storm was coming folks. It was rolling in, whether fans wanted it or not. We are now in October, and the results show it all. There is nothing more that I can add that hasn’t already been said a million times.

You can blame the MLB all you want. You can blame the NFL all you want. You can blame a political debate all you want. You can blame new Fall shows all you want. In the end, it does not matter. Sports and other programming are on every year, and politics pop uo every few years…

There was NFL on in 2000 (plus every year).

There was MLB on in 2000 (plus every year).

There was a President’s debate on in 2000, 2004, 2008 and so on.

New shows were on in 2000 (plus every year).

Yet, ratings for WWE were just fine then.

Excuses can only go so far. I will repeat it once again. The three hour format is NOT going to be a permanent move. It just is NOT going to last. The sooner WWE/USA Network accepts this, the better! For anybody still wanting to wait out this three hour Raw experiment

2. Ryback – This Sunday

Make no mistake, this will be the biggest night of Ryback’s professional life. Maybe even his entire life? I don’t know. In any event, this is going to be a HUGE night for his future. It is not exactly a “make or break” match for him, but it is VERY close. If he bombs out there in his match, it could be a disaster. If he can work a solid match with CM Punk, he will be just fine going forward. It is a BIG, BIG, BIG test for Ryback. I always discuss how guys are given opportunities to sink or swim in WWE. Once they are given a spot to succeed, it is up to them to deliver. Well, WWE has given Ryback the chance of a lifetime. Now, he has to come through.

3.CM Punk DVD Thoughts

I viewed the new CM Punk DVD and enjoyed it. Many extras and matches are still waiting for me, but the documentary is all done. As expected, it was very well done. The entire thing is just amazing to see, as it features “other companies” and some rare wrestling footage. Clearly, this was a different kind of set. It not only focuses on the business but plenty on life as well. Great job from everybody involved. I do not buy wrestling videos a lot (two this year), so kudos to getting my purchase! For those wondering, I heard a rumor the DVD was selling VERY well. Absolutely NOTHING has been reported as such online, but I expect that to change soon. Eventually, the official numbers will roll in, and WWE will be pleased.

4.Samoa Joe To WWE?

From WrestleNewz.com:

“Because he’s currently signed to TNA, there is quiet talk within one WWE inner circle about trying to bring Samoa Joe in.”

Interesting. I wonder what “one WWE inner circle” that is. Perhaps CM Punk, Daniel Bryan, and the other former ROH stars?

Just a guess.

In any event, this news report comes up every few months. As always, it goes nowhere. Plenty of guys backstage at WWE would probably love to see him join the company. However, it has yet to happen and likely never will. Too many chances have come and gone already. Too bad! TNA ends up signing Joe to a new contract, pushes him for a few months, and then he goes to the background once again for a couple of months. Looking at the TNA roster page, it looks like Joe just got the TV Title. Well, this story seems to explain why he suddenly got a belt. Just like Jeff Hardy, TNA wants to keep him on board.

I can understand that thought, but it is pointless right now. Until the WWE/TNA lawsuit comes to an end, nobody is “jumping ship” with any reasonable name value. Jeff Hardy can’t go to WWE. Samoa Joe, whether the rumor is true or not, is NOT heading up north anytime soon. The same goes for any other talent down in Orlando. However, once that ridiculous lawsuit ends? My, oh my! Look out…

5.Rey Mysterio and Sin Cara update

from the wrestling observer newsletter,

It’s said that the relationship between Rey Mysterio and WWE officials is strong right now. WWE has given Rey a lighter live event schedule because of his knees and they are happy because they know he has been helping out Sin Cara a lot.

Regarding Cara’s status, he has turned around in a lot of people’s eyes since being put with Mysterio. People now see him working hard as trying to adapt to the American style of wrestling.

6.And finally, Jeff hardy comments about CM Punk

Jeff Hardy was asked about the recent fan incident with CM Punk during a media conference earlier this month.

“I have not seen it but CM Punk is great wrestler but we are on different pages with our beliefs and who we are. I need to check that out. He is crazy talented but we do not keep in touch. I have nothing bad to say about him.”

everybody should remember that 3 years ago, they had a feud on Smack down  that made them personally dislike eachother to this day. Maybe if Jeff Hardy comes back to the WWE, their feud will continue.

What do you all think, ill be back next week for another newsletter

follow me @julianexcalibur

31 days of Halloween:Top 10 worst pro wrestling gimmicks of all time

I am back for another post. This week i will be doing the top 10 worst gimmicks of all time. The reason is because Halloween is coming up and I know most people will dress up so lets put on our costumes and start the countdown

10. PN news

PN News was fat. He was a fatty fat fatso. But he was also…phat?

That’s right. Phat with a “PH,” mothereffers! This was the early ’90s and rap was fun, god dammit! We had Kid n’ Play. Jazzy Jeff and The Fresh Prince. Heavy D. Vanilla Ice in Ninja Turtles II. There were Pajama Jammy Jams every night! PN News was WCW’s lame attempt to try and do something “urban.” You can also lump the WWF’s Men on a Mission (Mabel and Mo) in this category of neon-colored, family-friendly old school rap n’ wrassle acts.

PN News actually had a somewhat high-profile feud with Paul E. Dangerously’s(Paul heyman)Dangerous Alliance. Before his matches, he’d get on the mic and rap a few lines that usually went a little something like “My name is PN News and I’m here to say, I’m going wrestle in a very special way…” Then he says, “Yo Baby, Yo Baby Yo” which was his way of trying to capture the magic of “Go Ninja Go Ninja Go.” Also, he looked like a giant alien potato covered in shame.

9.REPO MAN

Repo Man (Demolition’s Barry Darsow) wasn’t an utter failure. He’s one of those strange gimmicks, that I mentioned previously, that stuck around for a few years. He was a cackling, goofy 1960s-era Batman TV villain-type character that loved nothing more than just straight-up swiping other people’s shit. He was part Frank Gorshin, part Hamburglar.

I’m not sure if they were ever really trying to convince us that he held down a steady job as an actual “Repo Man,” because all he really did was swipe things. He was pretty much like Swiper from Dora the Explorer. He’d sneak around and hide, and wait for his opportunity to jack someone’s jewels. He’d really just get into feuds because he was a thief that liked to take things that didn’t belong to him. Macho Man’ s hat. Tatanka’s feathers. Hulk Hogan’s prayers and vitamins.

Why did he have tire tracks on him? Why did he wear an eye mask? Why did he use a leg-grapevine submission as a finisher? Actually, looking back at him – he might have been a genius.

8.Oklahoma

All is fair in love and war correct? Well, even though there was a Monday night ratings war between Nitro and RAW, it still didn’t seem right when the WCW created a character to serve as a personal attack on the WWF’s leading announcer Jim Ross.

Played by Ed Ferrara and co-created by Vince Russo, the character of Oklahoma was a not-so-subtle way for both Ferrara and Russo to air their grievances with their former co-worker Good Ol’ J.R. While many things were done between these two companies which seemed like exchanging blows in a fight, this would be the only punch that truly felt like it was under the belt. Making fun of J.R.’s announcing style and Bell’s Palsy, Ed Ferrara would do irreparable harm to his image within the industry by tastelessly poking fun at one of the most respected men in the business. Out of all the bad gimmicks on this list, Oklahoma serves as the only one that truly offended us.

7.THE DUNGEON OF DOOM

Hulk Hogan was new to WCW and needed some new bad guys to play with. Hey, how about a gaggle of moronic “dark” characters that he’ll just keep beating over and over again for a couple years? That sounds delightful. The Dungeon of Doom was supposed to be something to fear, but instead they were as laughable as they were inept. Erstwhile Satanist-caricature Kevin Sullivan, under the guidance of a wrinkled old “Master,” became the Taskmaster and set out to, one could only assume, embarrass the entire wrestling establishment top to bottom.

Among his minions were Kamala, Meng, The Shark (formerly Earthquake), The Loch Ness Monster (Haystacks Calhoun) and…the freaking Yeti. My god. The Yeti could have his own entry, but I decided to lump him in with this veritable “Island of Misfit Toys” of wrestling. See one of the videos below to behold the majestic Yeti in all his bandaged Hogan-humping glory.

Oh, and who could forget…Zodiac. Or is it The Butcher? Whatever. Ed “Zodiac/Butcher/Booty Man /Brutus Beefcake” Leslie takes our unofficial Gold Medal for Exceptional Achievement in Bad Gimmickry.

6.GLACIER, MORTIS and WRATH

Back in 1996 WCW had the phenomenally awesome idea of creating video game-inspired characters – reminiscent to those found in games such as “Mortal Kombat”. While there were three of them, Glacier (Ray Lloyd – aka Coach Buzz Stern), Mortis (Chris Kanyon) and Wrath (Bryan Clark – aka Adam Bomb), it would be Glacier who helped these three make their way onto our list. Spending a good amount of time feuding with each other, these three had extravagant outfits, mean attitudes and entrances which could make even multiple time world champions blush.

Glacier in particular was our favorite, as he was dressed up to look like ” Sub Zero” from the MK series – wearing a blue ninja outfit, white hair, strange contacts, a mask and occasionally a helmet (which we are told was a centuries old relic passed down by his karate instructor). While none of these guys were awful in the ring – Kanyon was actually very good – it would be the pandering to the younger gaming audience and the “trying too hard” look and feel that made these characters so embarrassing.

5.S7VEN

You may be asking: Why is Seven (or S7even, or 7even, or whatever) on this list? As, in the character’s first appearance he – being Dustin Rhodes (aka Goldust) – broke character and delivered a shoot interview on crappy gimmicks. Well, while we like the fact that the WCW was able to poke fun at itself for a gimmick which I’m sure they realized sucked in hindsight, the character had serious promos created in which Seven was built as a credible threat… or circus attraction.

After creating many promotional videos that had Seven in such menacing locations as outside a child’s window at night, Turner Broadcasting wisely put an end to the character stating that it might be construed that Seven was a child abductor, or something worse. Regardless, bad idea and all, Seven is one of the few characters on this list that created genuinely entertaining television… despite the atrocious gimmick.

4.MAX MOON

Look at those space rockets that he shoots out of his space hands! Look at those fantastical laser beams that he uses to delight the masses? But why does he look like a cross between The Michelin Man and agony? Why is he a rippled, rubber piñata? Why does it look like he can be taken apart like a game of Connect Four?

Max Moon (Konnan) was one of those awful gimmicks that was meant to give the kiddies someone to cheer on. A smiling colorful douchebag that we’d see again in the form of Aldo Montoya (Justin Credible) and that we’d seen before in the form of Koko B. Ware. Always smiling. Just happy to be there. Win or lose.

Max Moon was a cyborg soldier from The Future, apparently sent back in time to make us all sick to our stomachs. Konnan wound up leaving the WWF, claiming discrimination (sound familiar?) forcing the WWF to find a different wrestler to wear the absurdly priced $1,300 costume.

 

4.OZ

There is one thing you can count on in the pro wrestling industry, and that is no matter whom you are, you have done something which you don’t want anybody to remember. The good news for all of us is that pro wrestling is recorded and achieved. So with the help of fan videos and humiliating “remember when” pieces we can humble big names in the wrestling industry. For this list we have decided to dig up dirt on Big Sexy Kevin Nash… or should we say Oz? Yes, Oz – as in The Wizard of. Back in WCW in 1991 Kevin Nash dropped his mohawked Master Blaster Steel gimmick only to upgrade (?) to that of the mysterious Oz. Ushered to the ring by the Great Wizard (Kevin Sullivan), Oz spoke with a commanding voice, wore emerald colors, a turban and mask that looked more like The Sultan from Disney’s Aladdin than something from the book/film The Wizard of Oz. Still, you need to hand it to Big Kev, as even with the bad gimmick WCW continued to push him – whether that was due to Nash’s stature and charisma or WCW refusing to acknowledge that the character of Oz was ill-conceived is still up in the air.

Let this be a warning to all those attempting to get into the business: There are video cameras on you at all times, don’t do anything you will regret for the rest of your life.

3.THE GOON

Wow. The Goon. Yes. You know there were a handful of these “occupational wrestlers” that went on to find a lot of success. Like Mike Rotunda’s IRS and Jacques Rougeau’s Mountie, but after a while people just didn’t want to see that any more. The WWF definitely passed on more than they approved. My question is…if the Baseball Player (with his face painted up like he was a Fury from The Warriors) didn’t make the cut, then why did they think The Goon (“Wild” Bill Irwin) stood a chance?

A big, clumsy and fumbly Hockey Player? With hair like an unmade bed? And wearing full hockey gear? I know it was a few years ago, but people still actually liked to watch fluid wrestling matches back then. Who would ever want to see someone compete wearing a complete body sheath? And man, could people have cared less about Hockey?

Apparently The Goon had been kicked out of every league he’d been a part of. But they could never kick him out of our hearts.

2.Shark Boy

Again, you aren’t losing your mind, in fact you’re perfectly sane but I understand why you’re doubting yourself. You’re thinking how in the hell can someone have a shark-like gimmick, well the answer to your problem is: they can and they have. The worst moment in Shark Boy’s career was when he started taking on a Stone Cold gimmick saying things such as “Give me a shell yeah!” or “What?” and believe it or not but the shark actually drank beer at one stage! Ohhh, not to mention AND THAT’S THE FISHIN’ LINE COS SHARK BOY SAID SO!

1.THE SHOCKMASTER

For those that know their professional wrestling it will come as no surprise that we have chosen The Shockmaster as #1. Some wrestlers are given good gimmicks which can carry even the worst wrestler, some wrestlers are given mediocre gimmicks which they either make succeed or fail according to their ability, some wrestlers are saddled with bad gimmicks (as this list has shown) that will essentially bury a wrestler’s career, and then every once in a blue moon something so extraordinary happens that it will echo in the annals of wrestling history as a complete and utter embarrassment to the wrestler, the company and all those that are forced to share screen time with them… thus is THE SHOCKMASTER!!!

We’re not sure if we’re ultimately more offended by the fact that this witless meatball actually fell on his ass (actually making his mic’d teammates say out loud “He just fell on his ass!”) or by the fact that his costumed consisted of suspenders and a Storm Trooper helmet with blue glitter-glue all over it.

There you have it, my top 10 worst gimmicks of all time, my next will be the top 10 best gimmicks from the 80’s to the early 2000’s..Aslo follow me on twitter @julianexcalibur

31 days of Halloween: retro video game review:Zombies ate my neighbors

I am back again with another retro video game review. this time is one of my favorites and a cult classic, zombies ate my neighbors

also follow me on twitter on your thoughts @julianexcalibur

Who doesn’t love a good campy horror flick every now and then? With Lucas Art’s Zombies Ate My Neighbors, you may never have to watch another one!

Just look at the premise of the game: Monsters are running amok in the neighborhood and it is up to two kids armed with squirt guns to stop them! It may sound cliche’, but that feeling will soon be discarded once you begin playing and discovering what a triumph the game design is!

At the start of the game you can choose between two kids; a boy and a girl. Aside from the look of the character, there is no inherent advantage to picking either of them, so just go with want you want. From there you are dropped in the first neighborhood to begin your quest of saving as many neighbors as possible. The game controls marvelously, and you will never once have a problem doing what you want once you figure out how to sort items! They even give you a radar to help in locating the neighbors which you can toggle on and off by hitting your trigger buttons.

It’s a good thing too! Ten of your neighbors ranging from mean teachers to helpless babies are scattered throughout each level. Your goal is to get to them before the monsters do. This may sound simple until you realize that if a neighbor is killed then you lose that neighbor FOR THE REST OF THE GAME! That might be a problem since the game has over 50 levels to keep them alive through, and eventually you would be down to one. Except the game developers were way ahead of us on that one! The fix was to award an extra neighbor for every 40,000 points you score! And since you will be scoring a TON of points throughout the game most players will be fine as long as you don’t mess up TOO badly.

On the other hand, that doesn’t mean that the game is a cake walk, either. The monster horde is out for your blood (or the neighbors! They’re not picky)! There’s the titular zombies, the masked killer, the evil dolls, the vampires, the werewolves… put it this way: If its been in a horror film, it will be in this game! It is shocking how much content they managed to stuff in a game that is over 15 years old! Each monster acts differently than its brethren, with different patterns, aggressiveness, and weaknesses, and you’ll have to learn each one’s intricacies in order to survive!

That is what the weapons are for! Zombie’s myriad of weapons and items are pure bliss, adding yet another layer of content into an already stuffed game. I love how the game uses things typical of suburbia and turns them into a viable arsenal. Squirt guns filled with holy water act as a pistol. Shaken-up Cola cans act as grenades that can be hurled over walls. Bazookas (Yes, bazookas!) dropped by military can be used to blow down obstacles such as hedges and walls. Every weapon and item has a purpose and add strategy to the game, but it is the various ways that the weapons interact with the monsters that steal the show. Silverware one-shot werewolves! Weed-Whackers one-shot plant monsters! POPSICLES ONE-SHOT BLOBS!! If you are a horror aficionado, you will have a distinct advantage here since it is obvious that this was a labor of love from a development team that loved horror movies!

It all comes together beautifully. Levels are incredibly detailed, and as with the monsters and weapons, it’s the small things that make the difference. Need to get in a house? You can use a key. Or you could blow the door open with a bazooka! Or you could smash it down as a monster using a special potion!

Do you want to explore, or just rescue your neighbors and move on? It is in these moments that the game ceases to be good and becomes extraordinary. My favorite example is the hedge maze in level 3. Viable options include turning into a monster and killing all seven chainsaw maniacs or using a bazooka and blowing holes in both walls AND maniacs in order to fast-track to your neighbors. Or you could let the maniacs cut a path for you, luring them into making shortcuts for you before breaking out the fire extinguishers and decoy clowns to slow them down! The possibilities are endless!

Did I mention that you can do all of this WITH TWO PLAYERS? Bringing along a buddy makes for two times the fun, and makes it more likely that you can finish the game in one sitting. Make no mistake: THAT IS THE WAY IT IS MEANT TO BE PLAYED! Zombies features a password system that punishes you for using it by stripping you of your items. If you have to use a password then you start from the later levels with just a squirt gun and a first-aid kit! I would normally chalk this up to bad game design, but it almost seems deliberate as a way to challenge more advanced players. I think that they expected veterans to use the passwords to skip ahead and try their luck at some of the punishing later levels with a limited inventory.

As for graphics and sound… The game cannot stand toe-to toe with the SNES’ best, but I don’t think it’s supposed to. The graphics get the job done and do a great job of painting a varied landscape. Animation is great with unique animations for all neighbors and monsters, not to mention the kids which are very expressive. This may explain why the graphics are a little toned down, and I consider it a fair trade. Sound-wise the game is fantastic. The soundtrack may repeat too often, but the tracks that are there are all mood-setters with my personal favorites being Dr. Tongue’s Castle and the Baby Theme. Sound effects are also varied and used to great effect, from the roaring of a chainsaw to the screaming cries of the neighbors as they are spirited away to the next world.

Overall, I cannot praise this game enough! That is why I am always confused that more gamers have not heard of this game. It sold reasonably well but seems to be forgotten among modern gamers. It was only recently that it clicked into place! I was playing Dead Rising and bitching to a friend about how clunky it was when memories of this game came flooding back to me. Zombies was a game before its time, and nothing makes that clearer than the zombie-obsessed society of the modern age! Dead Rising, Left 4 Dead, The Walking Dead, The Zombie Survival Guide… Even Call of Duty has been invaded by the undead! This game combines EVERYTHING appealing about horror films, ties it to solid arcade action, and then throws in some trademark Lucas Arts humor. The final result is a fresh and addictive title that still holds up to this day! That is why I am officially using this platform to call for Konami to make the sequel that ZAMN deserves!!

They might as well do something while they are busy doing nothing…

Retro review:WCW Halloween havoc 1998

Halloween is right around the corner and for every Monday this month, i will post a Halloween related topic in the world of professional wrestling.My first will be the WCW Halloween havoc 1998 ppv

 

[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9JeUyaIVFDc&version=3&hl=en_US]

T’S HOGAN VS WARRIOR II! I seemed to write that with a heap of enthusiasm and excitement but I really could not give a shit. WCW’s booking of this entire angle has been shocking and there has been more emphasis put on this match than the match everyone is actually buying this PPV for. Goldberg and DDP should have been the selling point but instead, Warrior and Hogan is listed as the ‘showcase’ but I just can’t get myself up for it.
The #1 in ring worker in WCW at that time, Billy Kidman (big call I know), is now the Cruiserweight champion and talk about putting on some classics. Has had great matches with Psicosis, Disco and Rey Misterio on Nitro and he will look to consolidate his position as the showcase of the division. And if you want to see some of the most outrageous television in the history of television, then check out the Chucky segments on Nitro. That’s right, a fictional doll was warning Rick Steiner not to mess with Scott Steiner as he is the lead in Chucky’s new film. Yeah, that bad…
Oh and how could I forget, THE NATURE BOY IS BACK! WOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Your commentators are Tony ‘IT’S A BELLY TO BELLY SUPLEX, NOT A SIDEWALK SLAM’ Schiavone, Mike Tenay and Bobby ‘The best colour commentator in wrestling history’ Heenan. They open up with talk on Hogan and how he smashed the fuck out of his nephew Horace Hogan.
Mene Gene calls out Rick Steiner but that is quickly interrupted with Buff Bagwell. Buff wants to be in the corner of Rick but he isn’t sure if he can trust him. Yeah, why would he? Anyways Rick accepts and we’re ready for our first PPV feature match of the night.
TV Title: Raven vs Chris Jericho (c)

Raven’s entrance music is the best thing going and Jericho is met with a huge pop for a man that is still meant to be a heel. Raven’s on the stick and states he wasn’t told of the match and wants no part of it but Jericho cuts some quality mic work and we’re underway.

Raven storms into the ring but is met with some fierce stomps on the mat before getting whipped with his own jacket. Raven is up and about early though, taking Jericho to the outside and front suplexing him on the steel steps and follows up with a dropkick. Jericho wants none of it and hangs Raven on the top rope to gain back the ascendancy before sending Raven to the floor with a springboard dropkick.

Back in the ring and Raven begins eating Jericho’s face off which is followed with a sleeperhold but NO GO, back to back suplex and senton gives Jericho the urge to head to the corner turnbuckle and expose the steel bolt. They begin trading blows in the corner, Jericho is attacked and met with a fierce powerbomb. Raven grabs the legs and catapults him into the bolt before taking him down for the near fall. That was excellently worked.

Both men on their feet and Jericho roles through to put on the Liontamer but Raven justtttttt reaches the ropes and breaks the hold. Jericho thinks he has the win but is met with a ‘continue on’ from the referee. Jericho tries to whip him into the ropes but out of nowhere hits with the EVEN FLOW DDT. 1-2-OUT AT TWO! Jericho gets back on top with a low blow before nailing him with a German suplex and picks up another near fall with the bridge. Kanyon is out on the apron and Raven is whipped right into his own man, turns around and goes for the Evenflow DDT again but not this time. Jericho turns his man and puts on the Liontamer for the submission win. (7:49)

Rating: **** – That was a great match and the whole thing was just so fluent. Raven has given me two back to back solid matches on PPV and I can say that this record will probably never be matched knowing WCW. Sure it was short but this was exciting as fuck, crowd was hot and the back and forth before the match was just awesome. Raven’s losing streak continues but I hope they actually take it somewhere storyline wise, not just write him off television.

Hogan is out with Eazy E. “I left my own blood, I left my only family in a pool of blood” BLAH BLAH BLAH. It was Hogan’s best segment on Nitro in months but please move along with the PPV. Raven and Jericho have got me pumped!

Disco Inferno vs Juventud Guerrera

The winner of this will get a title shot later on tonight against Kidman. Give me two Disco matches and I’ll be one happy man.

Disco wastes no time and goes straight after his man, nailing him with a side slam but only gets a near fall. Disco with a bit of intensity but doesn’t last long as Juvi nails him with a leg bulldog of some sort. Nice move! Inferno is up and charges at Juvi but sense him all the way to the outside before sliding through the ropes and hitting him with a head scissor. Back in the ring, and a quick atomic drop and clothesline combo puts Disco on top and then finishes it off by nailing him with an elbow drop from the second rope. Both men up and a quick exchange of reversals is finished with Juvi hitting a jumping hurricanrana but Disco hits back immediately and hangs him on the top rope. Finds Juvi ripe for the pickings and slams a spinning neck breaker as Disco finally gets the two count before the ten.

DISCO WITH THE MAKARINA! FOLLOWED BY THE GIANT SWING. HELL YES! AND THATS FOLLOWED WITH A DIZZY DROP ONTO JUVI’S PINA COLADA! HAHA! A fine series of events that is finished with a ‘ahhhh, ahhh my dick’ into the camera. Disco finds enough wrestling technique to pull out a suplex and head up top, only to be caught dancing. Juvi frankensteiners him back into the middle of the ring and is met with a spiralling, twisting, high risk manoeuvre that gets only 2. Guerrera quick to pounce with and get up on his shoulders but Disco slides him off and PILEDRIVER! 1-2-3! (9:39)

Rating: ***¼ – Another good match to begin this PPV and Disco worked this one very well. I love Heenan but he really did nothing to put either competitor over as a genuine chance to win the title off Kidman tonight, instead making a suggestion that Disco take a year off with a manager. This may have been said due to jealousy of Disco’s dance moves so I’ll let him off this time. Really solid stuff so far, can they keep it up?

Big Poppa Steroids is out and wants to make things interesting. Suggests Bagwell team up with Rick Steiner, while he’ll be teaming up with the Giant and the Tag Team titles will be on the line. If the titles change hands, we will get a one on one match between Rick and Scott later on. NICE!

Nitro Girls out again and fair to say we have seen them more than we have matches tonight.
Cruiserweight Title: Disco Inferno vs Kidman (c)

Lots of back and forth action to begin this as both men trade blows with dropkicks, hair takedowns and flying head scissors! Disco bringing out the anger in Kidman and his overly keen attitude see’s a drop toe hold into the bottom rope by the Inferno. He follows it up with a spinning neckbreaker and a hard whip into the corner to gain the advantage. “Kidman, turn the music down, yes mum!” What the hell Disco?

Kidman moves to the top rope in the meantime and attempts a Guerrero frogsplash but eats the mat. Disco wastes no time in applying the sleeperhold but Kidman works his way back into it with strikes to the mid section and a huge clothesline! NICE! Disco sends him into the ropes, misses the elbow but picks him up and sends him face first into the mat for a near fall. Some sexy dance moves but wastes far too much time on the middle rope and this time misses the elbow. Kidman backs up this momentum change immediately with a powerslam but another two count ensues! Both men are back to their feet and Inferno goes for a powerbomb but like a cat, Kidman lands on his feet. Hell no says Disco and plants him with his jumping piledriver but can’t tie the man up for the pinfall. Finally get the cover on but Kidman is out at two!! Kidman goes with his running bulldog from the corner but miraculously turns it into a back to back. Front suplex and again we’re close to having a new Cruiserweight Champion. Fatal mistake, Disco goes for his second Makarina for the night, picks him up for the attempted powerbomb but the bulldog and shooting star press combination see’s Kidman retain. (10:49)

Rating: **½ – Rather slow for a Cruiserweight title match and perhaps having Disco wrestle in back to back matches wasn’t the best option. Still, they put on a pretty exciting match and Disco definitely got his fair share of offence in. I just somehow never believed he would walk away with the victory and to be honest, I’m glad he didn’t. Kidman is the shit!
Tag Team Titles: Buff Bagwell and Rick Steiner vs Scott Steiner and Giant (c)

Giant is out puffing on a dart again.

Scott wants Giant to start things off against his brother and begins with a massive slap across the chest. Giant softens him up some more before tagging Big Poppa Roids in and keeps him floored on the mat with numerous strikes. Sends Rick into the ropes but he ducks the clothes line and an atomic drop puts him back on top. Begins striking Scott in the corner but Scott has an atomic drop of his own. Rick no sells and elbow drops him on the mat before looking over at Buff who wants in. They make the tag and go for a double clothesline and BUFF BAGWELL TURNS ON RICK STEINER! OMG WHO WOULD HAVE THOUGH THAT?

Buff is out of here and Scott Steiner kicks Rick in the groin for good measure. That is honestly the 4th hit taken to Rick’s groin in the first 4 minutes of the match. I’m not sure he is going to be left with a penis after this which would then effectively make him the bitch faced gremlin, Rick Steiner.

Anyways, Scott tags the Giant back in to do some more damage and pulls Rick up from numerous pinfall attempts. The commentators begin to question if Judy Bagwell is involved in all this. Knowing WCW, it isn’t beyond them. Scott Steiner slams him into the turnbuckles and Rick begins the fightback! What stops this runaway train? Thats right, another low blow! Scott signals to the Giant and OMG, GIANT HEADS TO THE TOP AND NAILS HIS OWN MAN WITH 552 LBS OF MISSILE DROPKICK! Rick clotheslines the Giant three times and STEINER BULLDOG for NEW TAG TEAM CHAMPION/S! (8:24)

Rating: **¾ – Would it be wrong of me to say I actually enjoyed this? This was awesome, from Rick Steiner looking like he was down and out to fighting back and winning the titles on his own. Crowd popped huge when Giant launched off the top and when Rick got the pinfall. This isn’t over yet…
Rick Steiner vs Scott Steiner

Scott is complaining that the count was too fast as he heads to the back but Rick wants none of it and goes right after his man. Slides him back in the ring and Scott begs for mercy which is met with a “SMACK HIM IN THE MOUTH” from Schiavone. He doesn’t hesitate and whacks him in the gob for some sweet sweet justice.

Quiz to all: What manoeuvre does Scott Steiner use to get back into the match up? A: Kiss B: Low Blow C: Foot Stomp D: Hair Colour. If you guessed anything other than B then you are a complete fool. Scott then nails him with a T-Bone suplex before positioning him on the middle rope for some Kevin Nash work. Sends Rick into the ropes, misses the clothesline and quality Heenan “Big Poppa Plants him” Belly to belly suplex but this only gains a near victory. Vision cuts to the outside where a Bill Clinton masked man in a suit is laying out WCW security before entering the ring and laying out Rick and the referee with the slapjack. It’s revealed as Buff again. He grabs the refs arm and makes the count but Rick is out at 2! Scott takes him up top and frankensteiner but again only a two count!! They pick him up, attempt the double clothesline but boom, Scott is laid out. Bagwell is hung up on the top rope before going to the corner and STEINER BULLDOG! 1-2-3! (7:24)

Rating: *½ – I didn’t enjoy this at all and kind of wished they’d have called it off after the Tag Title match and saved this for World War 3. They wasn’t ant rhythm, little emotion after the initial match but the ending was quite good. I for one am glad to see this feud finally done with. Who will Rick choose as his tag team partner?
Scott Hall vs Kevin Nash

Scott is looking/acting seriously drunk and I have no idea what to expect with this. Scott makes the move instantly and throws his Ice Tea straight into Big Sexy’s face as things go to the floor. Slams him into the ring post, belts him over the head with a microphone before choking him with a camera cord. Hall leaves him layin’ and jumps on the mic for some ‘Hey Yo!’ action.

Nash wants to continue and makes his way into the ring as this one continues. Hall immediately begins laying into him again as we get a grand total of one wrestling move in this period, a powerslam. BUT HERE’S THE FIGHTBACK! More strikes send Scott to the outside before he makes his way back in for some more back and forth strikes. “This has been one for the ages on sheer brutality”. Ahhhh, no thankyou Mr Tenay.

Anyways Scott tries to fight back from his knees but there is just no power. Nash big boot and Jackknife Powerbombs him. Say’s he’ll have another and powerbombs him one more time before walking out and giving Scott the win via count out.

Rating: *¾ – The ending and the result of the match is exactly how it should have ended. It really wasn’t about pulling a win but make it come across as a ‘beat some sense into him’ type of match. This just went far too long though and involved nothing but strikes when it definitely could have been done a heap better.
US Title: Bret Hart (c) vs Sting

Bret refuses to get into the ring for the early parts but Sting has had enough and after him. Begins using the rails to his advantage and finally gets Hart back into the ting. Atomic drop and numerous strikes in the corner have him firmly on top but Hart bounces back quickly to take control with an atomic drop of his own. Honestly, I haven’t seen so many men hit each other in the groin.

Well Hart performs his signature side Russian legsweep and attempts a variation of a dropkick but is caught by Sting and goes for the Scorpion Deathlock but Hart makes it to the ropes. Sring begins a beatdown and sends Hart into the ropes but on the leap frog attempt, Hart fakes having a knee injury once again. The referee removes Sting from the corner but Bret goes straight into the tights to find a foreign object. Goes for the attempted strike but is floored with a clothesline before dropping it on the ground. Sting has the object in his hand and attempts a strike of his own but is caught by the referee and low blowed at the same time. Make that crotch shot number 364!

Well Sting continues to get pantsed on the apron before Billy Silverman is once again getting involved. Sting thinks it is Hart behind him but nails Billy as we have the first (and perhaps not the last) ref bump of the evening. Hart adds a leg drop of his own as thing heads up top and a huge superplex right across the refs legs have all three men floored. Sting is up and goes for the signature stinger splash but hits his head on the ring post. Hart goes for the bat and waffles him 6-8 times before driving it into his throat from the second rope. Hart revives the ref and puts the sharpshooter on for the submission win and finishes off the stretcher job! (15:04)

Rating: **¼ – WCW are really trying to push Hart as a mega heel but why do they insist on the Hogan like tactics. Hart is a great heel when working on his own agenda and what the fuck is with giving Sting time off with the stretcher job ending? Didn’t he have time off for, oh I dunno, a whole year in 1997? This should have been a ripping match but was quite mediocre by both mens standards.
Hollywood Hogan vs The Warrior

IT’S THE MATCH WE HAVE ALL BEEN WAITING FOR!

Hogan finally makes his way into the ring after an eternity on the outside before they exchange arm locks which, guess what, sends Hogan back to the outside. They lock up once again and Hogan muscles him into the corner and drives the knee into the throat. And oh my goodness, its the finger squasher of death submission manoeuvre in the centre of the ring. But wait, Warrior is reversing it and applying some squash of his own! REMARKABLE COMEBACK! Spare me!

Both men begin criss crossing into the ropes as Hogan powerslams Warrior but it’s no sold and Warrior floors Hogan with some of his own stuff. Warrior sends Hogan into the ropes, Hogan jumps over the Warrior and sloppily gives us another ref bump before stealing Bret Hart’s sheepish tactics and driving the knee in for good measure. Poor Nick Patrick. The Giant makes his way to the ring and attempts a big boot but again strikes his own man and that ends a rather poor night for the Giant.

Hogan gets the belt off and strikes the Warrior with some deadly shots before attempting the ELBOW DROP OF DEATH but misses out. Warrior goes for the belt and begins dishing out some of his own treatment for back warts before striking him down for a deadly strike. Yes, I am saying deadly alot. But that’s a story for another day folks.

AND WE HAVE THE BOTCHED WARRIOR FACE GRILL that has the crowd gasping in disbelief. Or maybe the fact they have no idea what just happened would have something to do with it. What a farce this is. We are now met with Warrior double axe handles as Hogan is cut open. Hogan loves blood and fights back with a powerslam and LEG DROP OF DEATH. Looks to the ramp and catches one Horace Hogan waltzing to the ring with a steel chair in hand. Attempts another leg drop but gets nothing but mat as Warrior begins hulking up. Bischoff grabs the ref as Horace Hogan makes his way in and wallops Warrior in the back with a horrible chair shot. 1-2-3 (14:20) They begin spraying Warrior with lighter fluid and I am actually disappointed that didn’t go down.

Rating: This takes the cake, worst match of all time and I can announce that we have our first 5 point Cornette head match rating. This was the worst thing I have ever seen in a wrestling ring. Warrior shouldn’t be seen in the company again after that (and he wasn’t) while Hollywood Hogan took absolutely no responsibility for this and was gifted a World Title two months later. Sounds like horseshit doesnt it? I’ll say it again, Hogan created the company with his heel turn and is now killing it ever so slowly with his backstage pull. Thank the lord this was not the main event.
World Heavyweight Title: DDP vs Goldberg (c)

I don’t really know what to expect in this one. Goldberg has barely had a match hit the 8 minute mark and DDP can go in the ring but I have doubts they’ll make it work together. Let’s see what happens.
DDP wastes no time and gets straight into Goldberg’s face but is pushed off into the corner with ease three straight times. DDP then takes him down with an arm drag and dares Goldberg to come at him, where he obliges and both men are taken to the outside. NICE! And then I see some ridiculous athleticism from a man of Goldberg’s size as he back flips completely before getting leg dragged again. INCREDIBLE!

DDP then goes after some shoulder blocks, realizes they have absolutely no effect and attempts the Diamond Cutter out of nowhere but is thrown off with ease. DDP then uses the ropes to his advantage and stuns him with the top rope before a swinging neck breaker fetches him a close near fall. Page with the fast strikes and a Russian leg sweep again barely gets a one count. Goldberg straight back up to his feet and picks him up easily and a side walk slam gains Goldberg his first near pinfall of the evening. A standing sidekick put Page into the corner and GOLDBERG GOES FOR THE SPEAR and hits the ring post. Big moment! Page heads up top and a diving clothesline gains Page another near fall. Goldberg sends him into the ropes and picks him up with one arm but looks like DDP got him with a DDT which just sails completely over commentaries head. Page signals for the Diamond Cutter but SPEAR! No jackhammer immediately though as the shoulder is in a world of pain but finally attempts to pick him but Page slides out the back AND DIAMOND CUTTER. ITS THE DIAMOND CUTTER! Finally gets across for the pin 1-2-NO! Page makes the fatal mistake of going for a suplex and JACKHAMMER! 1-2-3 (10:28) Sportsmanship triumphs after the match.

Rating: **** – Fuck what was I thinking? Doubts? What doubts? That was the best main event WCW has had in a long long time and all credit to these two. DDP looks like a champion even though he doesn’t walk out of there with the belt and Goldberg looks like he can now be defeated. This was so much more than a good match and these possibilities can lead WCW into the right direction. TOP TOP STUFF!
PPV Rating: ****½
What a fucking magnificent PPV WCW put on. This would be in the upper echelon of best PPV’s of all time if it weren’t for the Hogan/Warrior match-up and its a shame as this was a great event. I refuse to give this an *****, as much as I want to for obvious reasons but credit to the Cruiserweights, Raven/Jericho and Goldberg/DDP. I also thoroughly enjoyed the Rick Steiner aspects of the show and I definitely recommend anyone who hasn’t seen this to give it a crack. It’s probably one you’d be able to pick up in three years time and watch again.

Also to note out, at the beginning of  the main event at 10:59 pm, the ppv was cut due to the time being up for the feed. This outraged the fans at home who ordered the ppv that night because the next night at nitro, they showed the Goldberg vs DDP match for everyone who didn’t see the match and was forced to pay back everybody who brought the ppv. thats “dubya see dubya” for you.

Tommy Dreamer’s “House of Hardcore” review

Last weekend one of my friends attended the House of Hardcore show and I asked if he can bring home some footage, when I saw the footage from the show and based on what my 2 friends told me more about,I quickly decided to do a review on the show.

My biggest concern about this show is that it was going to be another attempt to make money off of ECW’s legacy, and aside from Stephen DeAngelis being ring announcer and a few of the same stars this was NOTHING like ECW!

The opening match was Crowbar (Devon Storm) vs. Shawn Daivari.

This match was a really strong opening match and both guys worked very hard to please the crowd and oh, did they ever.

It was a back and fourth match that went outside the ring. Crowbar was impressive in this match and has made a bigger impact this year than he did his entire run in WCW thanks to his matches here and earlier in the year in Extreme Rising

Daivari took the victory in this one after landing a tornado DDT and following it with a top rope splash. The crowd really enjoyed the match and the efforts.

This match gets an 8 out of 10 in my opinion which is fantastic for an opening match. I hope Devon Storm keeps improving and that Daivari continues to impress.

The next match was FBI (Little Guido and Tony Mamaluke) vs Roadkill and Danny Doring.

The FBI had Big Sal E. Graziano as a corner man while Roadkill and Doring had some other Amish man as a corner man. It has been reported since that Smith James was the other Amish man but I cannot confirm this.

This match was pretty much what you would expect from these two teams and was just very good wrestling. Roadkill looked excellent seeing to how he has not wrestled a match since he left WWE/OVW in January of 2008.

When I watched this match it really felt like I was watching two teams of guys in their twenties or thirties. Everyone was so extremely impressive and it was a nice bit if nostalgia for old ECW fans as well.

The match was won by Danny Doring and RoadkIll when they hit their old ECW finisher on Mamaluke.

This match also gets an 8 out of 10 but I almost felt it needed more because of the classy moment that followed.

After the match Roadkill got a mic and asked all of the FBI to return to the ring. Roadkill said he respected all the work they did together in ECW as well as respecting The FBI themselves. This, of course, led to an “ECW” chant.

Roadkill then said that ECW was a thing of the past and HOH is going to be the future. He thanked everyone and then gave the mic to Danny Doring.

Doring said that it doesn’t matter where they are at, of if you chant ECW, HOH, or something else the fact is there would be no Doring/Roadkill team without The FBI. It was a top notch promo and a very classy moment.

Jazz vs Winter is up next.

This match was an OK match but really had a lot to follow after the first two matches and I really think this match should have opened the card to really get people into it.

Winter and Jazz both worked her and did the best they could with the time they were given. I am a huge fan of both ladies but this just felt out of place.

Good technical moves during this match including chops, sharpshooters, and more. The crowd seemed to enjoy the match just fine but not like the first two.

The match ended when Jazz reversed a slam into a Michinoku driver. I would give this match a 6 out of 10 despite efforts from both ladies.

Alex Reynolds vs Tony Nese with Mikey Whipwreck as special referee.

This was a fantastic match with a lot of back and fourth maneuvers. Lots of reverses and Nese landed a very impressive move off the top rope which resulted in “HOH” and “This is awesome. Chants.

Nese missed a 450 splash which resulted in Reynolds landing a forearm and a ‘lungblower’ but it was another two count. Reynolds had begin to grow frustrated with the two counts and eventually had words with Mikey Whipwreck

This match ended when Reynolds received a whippersnapper by Mikey and then a 450 splash by Nese. A lot of “This is awesome” chants and they were well deserved

This match gets a 9.5. This truly was an excellent match. I wish more matches would have had unestablished stars like this one.

Scott Steiner vs. Luke Gallows

Scott Steiner comes out next and cuts a promo about how Hulk Hogan and Eric Bischoff were pus$*es and when he told the truth about it he ended up in a lawsuit. He thanked all his followers for following him on twitter.

Luke Gallows and Eddie Kingston came out and Gallows and Steiner begin brawling. They battled outside the ring and Gallows took a chair shot to the head.

Later Steiner took a chair shot and Rick Steiner came to check on him. After Steiner recovered he went for a top rope move, Kingston interfered and was chased in the ring by Rick.

The match ended when Rick nd Scott hit Steinerlines on Gallows and Kingston. Good match. Everyone worked hard I give this match an 7.5 out 10. This match felt more like a fight than a wrestling match. Entertaining especially for old school wrestling fans.

Chris Mordetsky’s (Chris Masters) Masterlock Challenge

Mordetsky did his usual promo where he rips on Poughkeepsie (or whatever town he is in). He ripped the fans and picked some kid name Adam to attempt the Masterlock challenge.

The crowd was very upset over the person picked and a loud “bullshit” chant broke out. Hale Collins came out and wanted to accept the challenge. The crowd popped loud as Collins is from the area

Chris Mordestsky vs. Hale Collins

This started as a Masterlock challenge but when Collins was about to break the hold, Mordetsky hit him in the back and begin stomping in him.

Collins made a decent comeback and held his own and the fans were really really behind him through the whole thing.

The match ended when a masked man pushed Collins off the top and Mordetsky hit a spinebuster. This was not a bad match but not one of the best of the night either, but, to be fair, it had stiff competition with those opening matches.

I would give this match a 7 out of 10. The fans almost turned and got lost at the beginning but Collins helped win them back. Great effort, especially from Collins.

“War Machine” Rhino vs. “Death Machine” Sami Callihan

This was another excellent match and the crowd loved this one. This is the match I was looking most forward to of all the advertised ones.

Sami Callihan is an excellent wrestler and easily held his own against Rhino. This was a battle that went all over the place.

They fought all over ringside before finally making there way back inside the ring. Rhino landed everything he could but Callihan kicked out of the TKO, pile-driver and even the gore which really shocked the crowd.

Rhino took the victory with a Rhino-driver off the middle turnbuckle. This is another 8 out of 10 but with the Sami and Rhino involved it could have been so much better. Excellent match nevertheless!

Big Daddy V (Viscera) vs. ???

Big Daddy V had a manager named Nicky Benz (Nick Berk). They entered the ring and completely destroyed a “jobber” whose name I don’t know. This was a quick short match and Benz called out someone else got Big Daddy V.

Jobber #2 came out and landed some useless dropkicks on Big Daddy V. V did a chokeslam turned into a sit-down power bomb for the win. Benz called for a third guy and out came….SPIKE DUDLEY

This was a nice surprise for the crowd and they loved it. Spike delivered a kick and acid drop to V for the victory. After the match, Benz was mad and went after Spike. Spike delivered an acid drop on him as well.

This match gets a 6 out of 10 due to the match not being a real match but gets points for crowd reaction and it was typical Spike Dudley. As said was a nice surprise the crowd enjoyed!!!

Edge(Adam Copeland) Promo

Edge came out and cut a promo saying he was only here because of Tommy Dreamer and that this was first time he had done a show of this level since 1997. He said seeing Sami Callihan get piledrived by Rhino reminded him of Hulk Hogan getting piledrived by Paul Orndoff.

He said the teams in next match remind him of Edge and Christian vs The Hardy Boyz and that Young Bucks, Paul London and Brian Kendrick are going to do things now that The Hardys, Edge, and Christian couldn’t do in their prime.

The Young Bucks (Generation Me) vs. Brian Kendrick and Paul London

This was an absolute amazing match and nothing I write here will do this match justice.

Both teams worked very very hard and definitely impressed the live crowd. This match was fast paced and full of crazy high spots.

This match alone will be worth the price of the upcoming DVD. Double hiptoss’s, double planchas, and a whole lot of near falls.

Brian Kendrick and Paul London won this match after Kendrick nailed sliced bread and London landed a shooting star press. This match was insane and the crowd chanted “HOH” after.

This match easily gets a 10 out of 10 and was match of the night in my opinion,

Main Event: FWE Championship Match – Mike Knox vs. Carlito vs. Tommy Dreamer (Champion)

This was yet another good match with a lot of wrestling involved. There was a funny spot where Carlito ate part of his apple and spit it at Knox, Tommy then ate part of the apple.

Carlito took the victory after nailing Tommy with a backstabber. Knox went for flying leg drop but missed and Carlito covered Tommy.

After the match Tommy handed the belt to Carlito. This led to a “Thank You Tommy” and “HOH” chants.

Knox and Carlito shook hands and then Knox knocked Carlito out and Raven entered the ring and evenflo DDTd Tommy Dreamer. Raven continued to beat on Dreamer until “Enter Sandman” played.

Sandman did his usual long entrance and when he finally hit the ring he ducked an attempted Knox clothesline causing Knox to clothesline Raven.

Sandman then caned both Raven and Mike Knox which caused them to flee and run out of the ring. Tommy Dreamer grabbed a mic.

Before Tommy could speak the crowd erupted with “Thank You Sandman”, followed by “Thank You Tommy”, and finally “Thank You Both” chants.

Tommy finally spoke and said he wanted to thank everyone for making it a success and spoke about how he thought it was going to be a disaster. He spoke of how a short time ago his mother had a stroke and he thought she was going to die, but she is here selling merchandise for the show. He said Edge blew off neck surgery to be there. He also said his wife (Beulah) and kids were in the back and had been very supportive.

The closing match and segment was a lot of fun and very entertaining. I give the ending match and segments a 9 out of 10 as the crowd loved every bit of it.

My thoughts: The whole show was a lot of fun and definitely exceeded my expectations. For an opening event Tommy Dreamer and House Of Hardcore blew this one away. Dreamer has said there would be an HOH 2 and I highly recommend anyone who could go to go. I appreciated the fact that Tommy didn’t try to make money off the legacy of ECW. The show was original and definitely established itself as its own product. I hope and believe this company will go a long way if they keep this up.

 

The feedback at the show as well as online have been nothing but positive and believe me this is well deserved. Tommy has definitely sparked interest in this promotion and needs to keep delivering. People are interested and this could be a very successful thing.

Changes I would make: There really are not many changes to be made as it was an excellent first show, this could, of course change going forward but as it sits right now House Of Hardcore is on the right track to hang around and last for awhile. The ONLY change I would suggest is to have more unknown stars in the future as they did with Alex Reynolds and Tony Nese.

Overall Show: I would give the overall show a 9.5 out of 10 as it delivered everything and everyone as promised. Had a few surprises which is always a plus. When the DVD comes out I highly recommend everyone buy it and if you can attend the next show if possible, if it’s like this one it will be worth your time and money.

This show had the perfect mix of technical wrestling and fan reaction. It was better than anything I have seen put out in years. It had some cane shots, chair shots, and high flying insane spots so it would appeal to ECW fans. Also of the stars and wrestlers involved depending on what ECW meant to you and what you liked about it. Anyonen who appreciates wrestling would enjoy it.

If you are a wrestling fan and care about more than promos this is for you. If you want to see wrestling at its best, this is for you.

Tommy Dreamer is a well respected person within the wrestling community and has ties with WWE, TNA, and ECW. This level of respect maybe the reason people like Roadkill and Spike Dudley were on the card despite being retired for the last few years.

More info can be found http://www.houseofhardcore.net

 

Retro feud: Tommy Dreamer vs Raven

The number one way to make money in pro wrestling is with a great feud. Nothing draws bigger at the box office than a rivalry pitting good vs. evil. Today I spotlight one of professional wrestling’s greatest feuds.

Raven vs.Tommy Dreamer

In speaking of pro wrestling’s greatest feuds, one of the greatest from the last decade began locally in the city of Philadelphia, PA.

Extreme Championship Wrestling was in the early stages of a revolution in 1995 that arguably changed the industry forever. The days of boring matches, intelligence-insulting storylines, and characters you couldn’t relate to were over. ECW would bring their fans closer to their heroes and villains than any other company in the history of the business.

In walked Scott Levy. Levy, just out of the WWF under the name, “Johnny Polo” where he went from an in ring talent to an outside of the ring employee. Tape collectors who followed Scott Levy from his early days in Portland, to trips through Memphis, Global, and WCW were aware of his talents. At this stage in the game, it was truly a make or break career move for Levy to go from the WWF to ECW under a completely different gimmick.
Tommy Dreamer entered ECW as a muscle headed jock with overalls, and a pretty-boy smile. His in ring talents were never questioned, however the character became the antithesis of everything ECW fans hated about pro wrestling. Tommy would morph his character from smile to grunt as he became angry, took off the overalls, donned black pants and a black t-shirt, came back for beating after beating, and completely reinvented himself to something the fans could identify with.

The feud started when Stevie Richards began wearing some of Scott Levy’s old ring jackets to the ring. Richards and Dreamer had some altercations, and Levy would emerge as Raven.

Raven wore t-shirts, ripped jeans, and was anything but the “Scotty Flamingo” character Levy portrayed in WCW. Raven was dark, evil, manipulating, a cross between Jim Jones, Jim Morrison, and the scary kid who walked the school halls alone with little to no friends.

The back story to their rivalry was that the two were friends from summer camp. As kids, Dreamer got all of the girls and had all of the friends, while Raven was a loner. The two became rivals then, and this would continue into ECW. Raven hated Dreamer and Dreamer learned to hate Raven.

Tommy Dreamer vs. Raven turned into the longest running feud in ECW history. Starting in 1995 and continuing through 2000 when the two became a hostile team. Not enough credit is given to Dreamer, Levy, and booker Paul Heyman for sustaining fan interest over such a long period of time. On paper the storyline looks rather ridiculous. But the emotion, the intensity, the hate, the drama, the twists and turns in the story, and the tremendous abilities of Levy and Dreamer made it work.

The golden years of the feud were from 1995-1997. During this time period Dreamer and Raven had wrestled each other at least once just about every weekend, in every kind of match possible. Raven would include his crew of followers which included Beulah McGuillity, Mick Foley, the B.W.O, and others. In a business today where wins and losses are forgotten by the week, Dreamer was never able to beat Raven. During that time period the frustration and angst that Dreamer would carry with him into the ring against Raven made for wrestling heaven for ECW fans.

Their matches were the last of a dying breed of old-school brawls. The two would brawl all over the arena, come back to the ring, wrestle, brawl all over ringside, use chairs, ladders, tables, bleed buckets, and leave the fans standing on their feet yelling, “ECW” in unison.

In 1997 ECW took the company to a whole new level by entering the world of pay-per-view. WCW started to take them seriously, and raided ECW by signing then champion Raven. Raven and Dreamer had what was billed as their final encounter at Wrestlepalooza in an old-school “Loser Leaves Town” match.

This presented an interesting scenario to everyone involved in this at the time. The ECW fans read the Internet, read the newsletters, and were already aware of Raven’s signing with WCW. The news would obviously telegraph the result of the match. Behind the scenes up until the match, Raven had politicked hard to win the match, completely throwing off logic and the fans. Would Paul Heyman go the traditional route and do what was right for business or leave the fans stunned?

The two had one of the greatest ECW matches of all-time. The fans went nuts from start to finish. Unlike in the past where fans would split down the middle, this was bigger than Raven vs. Dreamer. This was now WCW vs. ECW and there was nothing more the ECW fans hated more than WCW.

The match itself was even more of a roller coaster ride than their previous wars. Dreamer, Raven and everyone involved wrestled this match as if they were in the main-event of WrestleMania. The match featured tons of interference, foreign objects, and twists and turns. Every time the fans expected the match to end, someone would kick out and the war would continue. This wasn’t about a championship it was about life to these two men.
Tommy Dreamer eventually won the match. The war was over, Raven was leaving for WCW, Dreamer theoretically represented ECW by killing off the (WCW) enemy, and the book on this feud was complete. Or so the fans had thought.

Just like great feuds of the past including Dundee-Lawler, Freebirds-Von Erichs, Flair-Steamboat, the feud would see new life several years later. Just like those great feuds of the past, the feud would never come close to reaching earlier proportions the second time around.

Raven would return to ECW three years later from WCW. A new twist of the feud saw Raven and Dreamer strike a small truce and win the ECW World Tag Team titles. The constant tension between the two provided for some great teases that never seemed to get off of the ground. Some things are better left untouched.

Also to note, they are the only two to have a feud in ECW,WWE and TNA

WWE: Retro feud/match: Kurt Angle VS Shane Mcmahon

Background: In the early part of the summer of 2001, Shane McMahon was supposedly trying to acquire talent for his new vision of World Championship Wrestling. He was also trying to make an impact on the business and began a feud with former Olympic gold medalist Kurt Angle. As the defending King of the Ring, Angle was looking to repeat as KOTR and accomplish a feat no one had ever done.

McMahon and Angle were scheduled to fight the same night as Angle would be defending his crown. McMahon would play a pivotal role in both of Angle contests earlier in the night as he helped Angle advance to the finals against Edge, before causing Angle to lose his crown later in the night.

A fuming Angle took to the ring for his third match of the night (a street fight no less) and one the most memorable matches in WWE history.

The match: Angle enters the ring and immediately takes McMahon to the ground and begins to pound on him. The two would go back and forth momentarily, but McMahon was no match for a former WWE champion. Angle began to dominate the match with his technique and power advantage. But this being a street fight, McMahon took to using a variety of weapons including a kendo stick to inflict some damage on Angle. However McMahon never really had Angle on the ropes even after a suplex on the unprotected floor caused Angle to break his tailbone. The Olympic champion would eventually recover and brutalize McMahon in way we hadn’t seen before and haven’t seen since.

As the two battle near the impressive entrance way, Angle was in full control as he pulled McMahon in for an over head belly-to-belly suplex into the set. More specifically, the glass paneling with the letters “KOTR” on it. As McMahon ws launched towards the glass he didn’t make enough impact to bust through and so Angle tries again and is successful on this time around. Now inside the set, Angle attempts to suplex McMahon through another glass panel not once, but twice, but he was unable to generate enough momentum to force Shane through. Finally McMahon is just thrown face first through the glass and into aisle.

with McMahon out of it, Angle would place Shane’s prone body on a case and push it to the ringside area. After kicking out of a pin, McMahon would appear to be on the comeback trail until Angle would hit his signature Angle Slam off the top rope for the finish.

Thoughts: How anyone cannot enjoy this match is beyond me. McMahon held his own with one of the best in-ring competitors in WWE history and somehow helped get Angle over even more than he was before. Not to mention he continued the match after being dropped on his head three times when the suplex attempts failed to launch him through the glass.

Angle was spot on in this match doing everything he could to look like a crazed man, hell bent on ending Shane. The physicality of this match is very impressive as Angle holds nothing back on the inexperienced McMahon and vice versa.

One of the highlights in this match for me was commentary team of Jim Ross and Paul Heyman. While doing the classic face/heel banter, both men were on top of their game and added to the overall greatness of the match. I’m one of those believers that feels the men calling the match have enough power to make or break almost anything and these two helped make this match even better.

That being said, I watched this match with a couple friends today and we agreed that as great as this match is, it sucks that Shane McMahon was the guy who took the beating and gets all the respect for toughing it out. There was an entire locker room of guys that could have benefited more from the match than the boss’ son who wasn’t a regular in the ring.

But that doesn’t take away from what was a show stealer and to me one of the three best matches in the WWE that year.

Aftermath: Angle would go on to be a big part on the “Invasion” storyline and would even win the WWE title in September of 2001. McMahon would go on to help build “The Alliance” and try to take over the WWE throughout the summer and fall of 2001. The match itself is easily McMahon’s best effort as a wrestler and for Angle, is one of his best performances during his run with the WWE.

 

Retro video game review:the legend of Zelda, a link to the past

If you never experienced A Link to the Past, or if you didn’t experience it when it first came out over a decade ago, you might not get what the big deal is about this title. For those of you who were lucky enough to get the opportunity to play A Link to the Past, you probably would agree it is a wonderful game, especially considering when it came out.Also to point this out, according to the zelda timeline, this game takes place right after the ocarina of ime,in the timeline, it follows link in the path that branches to “the hero of time is defeated”

Gameplay

At heart, A Link to the Past is just a blend of the original Legend of Zelda with a dash of The Adventure of Link. You navigate Link through Hyrule and the dungeons via a top-down view and choose your equipment via an item sub-menu. You can initially explore much of Hyrule, but to progress on to later areas, you must aquire new items which you get from the dungeons. The Super Nintendo allowed for a much more complex game system, which can be seen in the vast amount of items Link can utilize, the enormous dungeons with multiple levels, the plethora of enemies on screen attacking Link and the challenge of tough puzzles.
Just start with Link’s primary weapon, the sword. Link can now use it in so many ways; he can swing it normally, he can charge it up to unleash a spin attack, he can hold it out to poke at things, he can dash with it and he can shoot out swirling lasers from it. Many of the classic items made a return, like the boomerang, bombs and bow and arrows, but some of the new ones became staples of the series. Who can forget the Hookshot, the Bombos Medallion, the Magic Cape or the Bug-Catching Net?

The overworld is laid out in a way where Link can initially peak around in every single area, but he can’t necessarily access all he sees. Boulders block his path in the mountains, while stone statues barricade the way into the Desert Palace. I wonder how many people got stuck trying to reach the Tower of Hera, a puzzle which forces the player to finally enter the Dark World for the first time. Besides the essentials of the overworld, there are tons of secrets hidden throughout the land. Heart containers, rupee caves and fairy fountains are aplenty in Hyrule.
However, the true beauty of the game comes from the dungeons. Masterfully designed, and probably unmatched even today, the dungeons in A Link to the Past were both challenging and numerous. More than just pushing blocks, killing all the enemies or bombing a wall like in the previous installment, A Link to the Past made the player truly think in order to progress. Items had to be used to their full potential in order to advance onward. Those lucky enough to survive the dungeons were rewarded with extremely awesome boss battles. You may have heard this already, but each boss truly feels unique.

The ease in which you control Link is the crux of this masterpiece. If you played the original installment, you already know how to operate the sword and your special item. Additionally, the extra buttons are put to good use. The A Button will later on allow you to utilize the Pegasus Shoes, an item which makes Link dash at full speed. Link could also access a graphic map instead of a plain and blocky grid-map. Bottles allowed Link to store items like magic potion or fairies. The hookshot could be used to pull Link across long distances, or pull distant things to him. Bombs could not only blast enemies and walls, they could blast Link and hurt him (which is actually a blessing if you know how to exploit it). All future Zelda games owe their gameplay to this installment.

Graphics

A Link to the Past was made relatively early on in the life cycle of the Super Nintendo, which many would label as a first-generation title. Even still, the graphical achievement in this game was superb. The SNES showed off its ability to render layers and scale objects. This is crucial for all of the dungeons and several areas of the overworld. The animations of Link as he traverses Hyrule makes it hard to believe how convincing he looked in the NES games. Enemies came to life; just knock a guard off the edge into a pit.
The overworld truly felt like it flowed together extremely well, as opposed to the blocky nature of the previous installments, in which the world radically changed at the advancement of a single screen. Players will also notice that even though the screen “scrolls over” at edges, that the screens themselves will actively scroll with Link to give the effect of a larger on-screen area. The graphical power of the SNES also allowed for NPCs to exist in the game, along with a sprawling town in the form of Kakariko. Hyrule felt alive.

In sharp contrast, the dungeons in the games were each very unique and had a very dark and grim feel. The Desert Palace had sand across much of the floor. The Swamp Ruins had water running through it. The Ice Palace gave our hero trouble as he slid across the slippery surfaces. The entire game just felt so massive and alive thanks to the excellent work the graphical design team did for A Link to the Past. Sure, by today’s standards, Four Swords Adventures and The Minish Cap make A Link to the Past look a bit dated. But not that dates. Even amongst next-generation two-dimensional games, A Link to the Past still holds its own.

Audio

Sure, The Legend of Zelda established the famous Zelda theme. But it was A Link to the Past that established nearly every other great Zelda tune fans have come to love. Would you like us to list off some of the great hits? How about the soothing melody of Kakariko Village, the powerful charge of the Light World theme (yes, it’s just another version of the original game’s overworld theme, but it still rocks), the elegance of the Fairy Fountain theme, the majesty of Hyrule Castle’s them or the power of the Dark World theme?
Just about every song in this game went on to become a fan favorite, and many of them have been used over, and over … and over again in later installments. But it’s not just the soundtrack. It’s the sound-scape. The sound effects in this game were pretty good. Though the sound of Link swinging his sword sounded a bit goofy, and the loud bang made when dashing into a wall is a bit overexaggerated, many of the other effects were nice. Take that sword and tap it against wall. Notice the ping it makes, especially when you do it to a weaker section of the wall with a crack. Blows against armored foes made a clang. Arrows impacting against a surface made the pop you would expect.

Alright, so maybe by today’s standards, the effects are a bit weird and unrealistic. But this is a fantasy game, and one that is over a decade old. I don’t think I’ve ever heard somebody tell me that the sounds in the game annoyed them or detracted from the game at all. It is just too bad that wit the re-release on GameBoy Advance a few years ago, Nintendo had to add in those horrific yells of Young Link from Ocarina of Time. Even still, the sounds give the game a fantasy tone, which is sufficient.

Challenge, Fun and Replay Value

A Link to the Past probably will frustrate gamers who grew up in the three-dimensional era, but those who somehow missed this gem the first time around who are familiar with two-dimensional adventure games should really find themselves at home with this title. Sure, some of the puzzles will make your brain hurt or cause you to check GameFAQs, but that’s pretty much a requisite (well, at least once in each game) of a Zelda title. The boss battles, should you actually find out the key to their weakness (cough, dungeon items, cough), become a bit more manageable.
But this isn’t like the newer titles, in which Link can withstand one-hundred blows before dying. Some bosses will take down Link in as little as two-to-three blows. So be prepared to try again frequently on most dungeons. However, the challenge never gets to the point of frustration, and most will find the challenge a welcoming element for those pampered by the built-in game aids in future installments. Also, unlike its three-dimensional brothers, doing everything in A Link to the Past won’t take up the rest of your lifetime.

Simply collecting the extra heart containers, finding all the upgrades and locating all the items is the only requisite of this title. No trophy or statue hunting. No excessive heart container collecting. No Skulltula or Mask collecting. Everything is very manageable and very rewarding for the time it takes to accomplish. The pace of play is very good, with the story developed very loosely in game to drive the player on.

Final Verdict

This is like the Bible of Zelda. If you haven’t played it, you don’t know Zelda. If you have, you get it. The graphics and two-dimensional gameplay may turn off fans who grew up on Ocarina of Time (or joined the bandwagon then). But if you liked The Minish Cap, you will love this game. If you can get over your graphic obsession, you will find that A Link to the Past is truly a great game, and you will finally understand why fans frequently call out its name when the discussion of best game ever is thrown around.

Gameplay: 10.0
Graphics: 9.5
Sound: 8.0
Challenge, Fun and Replay Value: 9.0
Final Score: 9.1